I think I'm depressed. I don't want to leave the house. I don't want to do anything. I suppose I'm not too depressed to eat, and I can apparently leave the house to buy food (as I haven't starved yet). I worry sometimes that this is becoming too much of a habit. I spend my time alone, doing things some days and other days not doing much of anything. Is it possible to just be this lazy? Is it normal to dread walking from the house to the car or from the car to anywhere else? In the car, somehow, I feel invisible. Out of it, I feel like my fat rolls are out of control--like I need to tug at my clothes and adjust them. I feel conspicuous, big time.
I wonder whether I should try an anti-depressant like my mom and brother have. They seem to be better for it, but I don't know. It doesn't help any that I don't have insurance, 'cause I don't really feel like spending money I don't have to help a "condition" that may be solved with a small dose of mind over matter.
Maybe it's depression with a touch of social anxiety. Maybe it's that I'm a huge, fat sloth and people like me shouldn't leave the house!
1 comment:
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